Not Just Yet

So Lil’ Man has been quite the stinker so far this morning and after being disciplined this last time I couldn’t help but laugh.

“So are you ready to listen now, dude?”

“Well, not just yet…”

At least he was honest but today is going to be a long day.

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Hot Stank

So Lil’ Man and I are cruising the store for a wiper blade when he sees the air freshener end cap.

“Hey, Daddy, can we get an air freshener for your car? It really stinks like farts.”

I think the surrounding customers enjoyed that one but my car does not, in fact, smell like farts.

Just saying.

Super Meat

Lil’ Man likes to pretend he doesn’t like potatoes and it is damn annoying so I pulled a fast one on him. I made breakfast burritos for dinner tonight and, of course, diced potatoes were part of the burrito guts.

Halfway through his burrito he notices the diced potato and says, “Daddy, what is that cube thing in there?”

“Oh, that little guy? That’s Super Meat.”

“Super Meat?!,” he says, “I LOVE Super Meat!”

Joke’s on you, son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HBI

The Hotness and I like to support the local economy whenever we can and one way we like to do that is we purchase beef directly from a local farmer. The gentleman we use raises his cows in the county we live in and uses a butcher from our county as well so that is super awesome.

Little Man and I went to pick up the meat armed with our coolers and a butt load of excitement. He was way too excited to meet the farmer and after asking a few questions about the farm he started shaking and jumping and yelled, “I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT TO MEET A REAL, LIVE COWBOY!”.

Mr. Eddie and I both got a kick outta that.

Nightmare Material

Little Man is in the living room making things with his magnetic toy set while I enjoy a hot, delicious cup of coffee (with my mug properly pre-warmed, of course) and plan my day.

He says, “Look, Daddy, I made you a six legged spider!”

Sweet Jesus do I hate spiders so I try to distract myself by reminding him that it can’t be a spider because spiders have eight legs.

“Well,” he says, “this spider has six legs and he will eat you up whenever you take a bit of meatloaf!”

Seriously, who the hell is slipping my kid drugs?

Black Angus

Lil’ Man and I were going on a little adventure today to put the 4Runner in Beast Mode when we drove past a cow pasture.

“Dad, do you know what a cow does?”

“No, what?”

“He turns you into chicken nuggets and gobbles you up!”

I think my kid is trippin’ balls.