animals

Ruby Toots

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Well, the last month has flown by but ol’ Ruby Toots has made her place in our home. In her last episode I was sad to state that Ollie wasn’t very receptive but Ruby sure has started to win her over. Naps are being experienced on the same couch and hiss festivals subside into sniff bonanzas so I think we have rounded the corner.

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Here she provides valuable input on what guitar tab I decide to print and play.

Cooper is still trying to figure out what Ruby’s deal is as one minute she is curling up on his tail to snooze and the other she runs full tilt and jumps into his snout, side, or rear end. He entered our family as a puppy and the smallest so he isn’t accustomed to a young’un going full spazz mode on him.

She is still learning how to interact with us and I think my mission to be her favorite is going well. She’s inquisitive and goofy, too. I admit that I’m an animal lover at baseline but this damn cat won me over on day one. She’s funny as hell.

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Apparently my words are boring.

Never mind. She’s a dick.

Ruby

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Ruby, Queen of the Heart Melters

This little one pound badass defied odds and lived in a car’s engine bay for at least two days when she was finally discovered. The family that found her wasn’t able to keep her so we definitely fell on that sword after meeting her.

She had her first vet visit yesterday and received a good bill a health so we are happy! She’s probably good to go due to the heaping helpings of love that Lil’ Man has been bestowing upon her.

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Like we couldn’t keep her after they claimed each other.

Obviously Cooper has welcomed her with open arms but Ollie is a bit of a different story, sadly. We hope she’ll come around and while she isn’t aggressive she is completely cranky and doesn’t want to snuggle up. Ruby doesn’t seem to mind so that’s good.

I can’t wait to see more of her personality grow! She already is really funny and full of energy and not really shy at all. She could never replace Mika but she’s off to a good start being a part of the family!

A Way With Words

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Two days ago Lil’ Man and I were cruising the aisles when I finally caved. He has been wanting some fish for a while so we made that happen for him. Of course we talked about how they would become family members that needed care and attention before pulling the trigger and he assured me that he was in full compliance.

After getting home I set up the aquarium with his help and Acorn, Lipstick, Rainbow, Spanky, and Goldie plopped down into their new home. Sadly, Spanky passed away last night and I had to break the news to Lil’ Man this morning when we went to feed the school.

Stating that he felt badly for “poor Spanky” I told him how we had to have a funeral for our new friend. I placed him in the toilet and told Lil’ Man how it is customary to speak at a funeral and that I would go first if he wanted. I figured he wouldn’t really know what to say but he said he would like to speak first. It was really sweet to hear him say how he was sad for Spanky and that he was a good fish. I spoke my piece and after Lil’ Man flushed the toilet to send Spanky off to his next adventure.

Later he asked me why Spanky had to die and that makes me sad but I guess it is for the best that he learns certain facets of life sooner rather than later.

Either way I have to say Lil’ Man has a sweet heart.

Old Friends

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Sometimes people just know that you need to see their smiling faces.

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Lying in wait for some tasty devil demons.

After a fine evening talking guitars and hanging with the guys I roll on home far past sunset only to find my third best buddy waiting for me in the driveway.

Gigantor Toad dropped a sweet fist bump on me as I walked past and I can’t help but feel good about the fire and brimstone he is delivering on the eight legged ass bags that haunt our acres.

Carry on, Gigantor Toad, for I love thine holiest of work.

History Repeating

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I’m pretty sure the entire county heard my yell.

I was outside minding my own business and installing a bathroom exhaust fan vent in the soffit when I was viciously attacked…again.

I went to put down a little silicone around the window trim when Big Momma came screaming out of the flowers at my face from about four inches away. By the way I yelled “SHIT!” and jumped back anyone watching would’ve thought there was a rattlesnake, at least.

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Launching pad of the bird missile.

After telling Cooper to stop being a weenie (I was trying to pass the buck) because, “it was only a little house finch”, I went in for inspection.

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Probably hatching soon!

Big Momma watched me and Cooper from the telephone wire close by while I counted the eggs. I replaced the foliage just the way I had found it and moved along to my next project but I can’t wait to show Lil’ Man! It’ll be fun to check in on them daily to see when they hatch and how they grow.

Also, what a good protector Big Momma is! I was literally above her nest using a drill and saw for about twenty minutes and she didn’t abandon her eggs. Sawdust was even floating down around them. I guess my ugly mug from inches away was the breaking point for her!

Nature is amazing and I love experiencing it.

Tons of Fun

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Ol’ Chubby Magoo Ollie has been a bit of a different cat since Mika passed in January. I feel for her because I think she is lonely now but it is almost a good thing because she comes around more. I have really been working with Lil’ Man on loving and respecting her chubby butt and it has worked! She really is terrified of life (besides The Hotness and me) but instead of hissing at him now she lowers her head so she doesn’t have to look him in the eye and receives his scratching and love. Sadly, she still hates Cooper and he is terrified of her.

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The look she gave me right as I thought I was doing a good job sneaking up on her while she napped. 

She’s much more vocal now and it is pretty fun when she wants attention. I’ll gladly fill the void that Mika left in her life because she is a sweetheart. Hell, she’s family. She’s been around for over ten years!

Operation Slowpoke: Trail Edition

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Maybe I’ll write up a proper trail review another time but I need to get to this mission debrief. It had been miles. Mud was spilled. We fought bravely against the elements and came out on top this time so I guess you could say we were lucky. No. Fuck luck. We had skill on our side and some times that is all you need to get the upper hand. That and good engineers who ate Wheaties for breakfast the day they designed our vehicles and/or aftermarket upgrades.

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4Runner didn’t even bother to sweat this downhill.

There we were, me and 4Runner with Buddy and Jeep checking out some previously unexplored forest “roads” on a fine Friday afternoon. We were in the home stretch and there was a medium sized limb in the middle of my path that I figured the Jeep couldn’t make it past (I kid, I kid) so I stopped to swiftly ninja kick the shit outta it when I saw it. I can guarantee he saw me coming and if it weren’t for a keen eye I may have squished his ass on accident.

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Legs all tucked in for safety and shit.

Operation Slowpoke: Trail Edition went into action without hesitation. Honestly, I wish I could’ve seen the fluidity of the cartwheel I executed while snatching his/her (Billy Box Turtle/Bonnie Box Turtle) ass up out the leaves. After a reassuring stroke of the head and a kiss for good luck I placed Billy/Bonnie up the bank in the direction he/she was headed.

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It’s hard to see the bricks he/she was shittin’ from this angle.

Crisis was averted. Lives were saved. Branches were ninja-fucking-blasted out of the way. We drove home kings of the forest and sacrificed lambs to the engineering gods that bestowed their favor upon us.

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Still streamlined for safety.

Nightmare Material

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Little Man is in the living room making things with his magnetic toy set while I enjoy a hot, delicious cup of coffee (with my mug properly pre-warmed, of course) and plan my day.

He says, “Look, Daddy, I made you a six legged spider!”

Sweet Jesus do I hate spiders so I try to distract myself by reminding him that it can’t be a spider because spiders have eight legs.

“Well,” he says, “this spider has six legs and he will eat you up whenever you take a bit of meatloaf!”

Seriously, who the hell is slipping my kid drugs?

Black Angus

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Lil’ Man and I were going on a little adventure today to put the 4Runner in Beast Mode when we drove past a cow pasture.

“Dad, do you know what a cow does?”

“No, what?”

“He turns you into chicken nuggets and gobbles you up!”

I think my kid is trippin’ balls.