Operation Phoenix Part 1

I don’t really know where to start.

Let’s just go ahead and say that I haven’t really much felt like myself lately. Honestly, life is going well right now and shit is getting knocked out just fine but something feels like it is missing.

One thing that has suffered a bit for me is the guitar playing. I started taking lessons roughly two and a half years ago and the journey has been good. Basically I just need to buckle the fuck down and get my nose back on the grindstone so I can earn my damn denim vest. Playing at an open mic night is a dream of mine that I would like to turn into jammin’ at a local bar or two every now and again. It would be a big step for me as I do not love being in front of people as the center of attention but you gotta face your fears at some point, right? I feel like I have something to say musically but whether or not anyone wants to listen is another story for another day. And, to be honest, I need to play with some people that are better than me because I kind of need to be pushed to reach my full potential. Am I lazy? No. But someone better than me is a good kick in the ass to get my situation in order. I tried browsing Craigslist for a bit to get a jam buddy but that just ended up being a little weird. Maybe I just need to revisit that scenario and go with the flow to see where it’ll take me. Hopefully it just doesn’t end up being tied up in someone’s trunk.

Maybe it is a lack of goals. I mean, obviously I have goals but I have a harder time achieving them right now. Besides playing guitar and singing publicly I would like to race (and race well) in a hare scramble next year. Me and Kathy soaring like eagles through the forest on a trail leading to infamy. Now that sounds magical as shit. Do I have dreams of being a factory rider? No. But I want to jam out rock solid in an intermediate class. At this point I know that she is ready for the challenge but I need a bit of work. I’ve been riding pretty well lately but winter was coming and my frame prepared well. I need to lose about fifteen to twenty pounds to be competitive but at least I’m more 6’4″ than 5’4″.

Alright, so more gym, riding, and more guitar time. Check. Jam on. But still, where does that leave me?

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