Little Man is in the living room making things with his magnetic toy set while I enjoy a hot, delicious cup of coffee (with my mug properly pre-warmed, of course) and plan my day.

He says, “Look, Daddy, I made you a six legged spider!”

Sweet Jesus do I hate spiders so I try to distract myself by reminding him that it can’t be a spider because spiders have eight legs.

“Well,” he says, “this spider has six legs and he will eat you up whenever you take a bit of meatloaf!”

Seriously, who the hell is slipping my kid drugs?